Geek Spaces

I must be too tired because I can’t stop laughing.

To my farty boss and his bowels.

I hear you.

I hear you in there.

I hear you farting. Shifting in your leather chair. Trying to muffle your bodily noises in your vibrating chair pad (which is creepy enough).

Worse: I smell you.

The first day you did this, I thought someone had burned a Lean Cuisine Salisbury Steak in the microwave. The second day, I stupidly asked you if you smelled “that vile odor”.

You blushed and said, “I have this little problem when I am stressed, excited, or eat a lot of protein in the mornings…” and thus began the Awkward Relationship I Have With Your Bowels.

Man, I am your assistant. I can help with the stress factor, that’s sort of my purpose. But listen, can’t you lay off the protein bars and egg whites and ostrich sausage in the mornings? Can you eat them, say, at lunch or at night, and torture your family and pets with the resulting stench?

I am tired of burning candles in my office like I’m some kind of fucked up Wiccan trying to ward off the Samhain Fart Satyr. I dread bringing you files because I don’t ALWAYS hear you and sometimes am very unpleasantly surprised by the greasy cloud that surrounds your work area.

I really like you. You’re a great boss. You take great care of me. But this has to stop before I burst a blood vessel in my eye from holding my breath when I come close to you. See a gastroenterological specialist already; I’ll even make the appointment!

Thanks to Craigslist

is something that I don’t have, though I wish I did.

One of my first posts after joining a Lutheran church was, “Where are the Lutheran Founders?” I wrote,

“I doubt that many Confessional Lutherans would accuse Southern Baptists of being to rigidly doctrinal. In fact, I’m sure that many see Southern Baptists as being the stereotypical, fire and brimstone, alter call, anti-intellectual, fundamentalists. However, there is a group in the SBC called the Founders that want to see Baptists go back to their theological roots. They hold conferences, fraternals, and learning courses for those who want to know about their historic confessions. Yes! It is true that historic Baptists even have confessions!

So what I want to know is, where is the Lutheran equivalent? Is there an organized movement to educate and motivate clergy and laypeople alike about the importance of the historic liturgy and about the fallacy of “seeker sensitive” worship?”

It’s been very nearly 3 years since I wrote that, but the question remains. Where is there an organized movement to educate and motivate clergy and laypeople alike about the importance of the historic liturgy and about the fallacy of “seeker sensitive” worship?” We have groups like Cat41 and SSP. We have communities like the Wittenberg Trail and LutherQuest, but where’s the organized front that stands for the Lutheran Confessions? Confessional Lutherans are fragmented physically and fraternally. What are we doing to see the truth being confessed in unity?

Perhaps, I should have titled this post, Where is the confessional Jesus First and Daystar?

I’ve located something very special that I have planned for the podcast.  I’ll post it as soon as I can and if the copyright permissions come through.